First night away from Baby J.

My husband and I went away, just overnight last night, to celebrate our anniversary. We left Baby J with my mama, which is the ONLY person I'd ever leave him with comfortably. I wasn't really nervous about it as much as I just felt guilty. I know mama's and daddy's need time away for themselves sometimes, and I understand it. I guess it's just hard for me to admit when I need help taking care of me. I know I can take care of Baby J just fine, but I just have a hard time taking care of myself also. I walk around in clothes that don't fit, shoes with holes in them, roots 3 inches long, and makeup that doesn't match my skin because I can't bare to spend a dime on material things for myself when I know Baby J almost always need something.

So, spending the whole day just with my husband was nice yesterday. I made the huge mistake of wearing a new pair of sandals that my mom bought me for my birthday (last weekend, I needed them so bad, as seen above) and I got huge, nasty blisters on my feet. I didn't bring any extra shoes since we were only staying one night. My feet hurt like crazy and I felt like such a cry baby. It sucked.

Husband bought me some new shoes though, nice tennis shoes from an outlet mall, and they are amazing. I am so happy. We had an amazing dinner and delicious lunch, stayed in a nice hotel and it was just nice. Last night though, I barely slept. I tossed and turned all night and couldn't sleep. I was really disappointed because it was my first night not having to wake up and feed Baby J a few times a night and I was really looking forward to the sleep.

I don't know if that part of my life is gone or what, but I woke up several times through the night and ended up barely sleeping at all. Must have just been my maternal clock ringing. More like screaming.

Oh, and my period decided to start the day before we left for the trip. First period in 4 months, by the way.

On a good note, my parents bought me an elliptical for my birthday. It's set up in Baby J's room, facing the TV. Tomorrow will be the first day that I am full blown calorie counting and exercising again. I am so afraid it isn't funny. I don't know how many times I have started, and failed. Then started again, and failed.  It's even more embarrassing than before because I KNOW what to do now, it's just a matter of will power.