I don't know if I've posted this here before, because honestly, it's not something that I like to talk about and I literally live in fear of speaking about it online.. because once it's here, it never goes away. Once you post it, it can always be found. Being that this is an anonymous blog and none of you know who I am - I think this is pretty safe.
My MIL and I don't get along. We can be cordial, but we have never really gotten along. She has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. In the 7 years I have been with my husband, I have seen too many ups and downs to count with her. From extreme ups to the lowest of lows; even being admitted into the hospital for treatment a few summers ago.
I am not comfortable with MIL watching Baby J for extended periods of time. I feel uneasy about it, not to mention that MIL babysat Baby J for a while when I went back to work and it was a disaster for my marriage to say the least. She doesn't make a solid effort to spend time with Baby J like my parents do, and it isn't anyone's fault but her own - but if you asked her, she would blame my husband and I completely. We have both told MIL on several occasions that if she ever wants to see Baby J, all she has to do is call and one of us will being him over for a while. She rarely calls.
Today my husband called me to tell me that his mom is coming to get Baby J tomorrow afternoon and is taking him to see his grandmother in cousins in a neighboring city and wouldn't be home until late, 9 or so. She asked him to pick Baby J up from her house on his way home from work. (Mind you, she lives 2 miles way from our home and my husband doesn't get off work until almost midnight.) I flat out said no to that part. If she wants to take my kid, she can bring him home at a decent hour. I know she asked this to avoid me, but sorry, it's not gonna happen.
I wish I could talk to my husband and explain how I feel. He believes that I don't like Baby J being alone with MIL simply because "I don't like her" and "don't want her to have a strong relationship with Baby J", which isn't the same - at all. Not even close. I would love for Baby J to have a better relationship with MIL but it isn't my responsibility. If she wanted to be close with him, she would. She would call my husband and he would take him over there for a visit. She just doesn't call, so my husband doesn't go visit.
I want to tell him that I don't think he takes the fact that she is a diagnosed and medicated bipolar person and what that really means. It worries me to leave my son with her for extended periods of time. I know she loves him and would never hurt him, but I worry about her patience. I worry about the fact that he is so picky and particular and she knows nothing about him. I worry about the fact that he home isn't even CLOSE to baby proofed, and he is tearing into everything right now. I worry that she will feed him things that I don't want him to eat. I just worry because they don't have much of a relationship and I don't trust ANYONE with my son. It scares me to death.
When I've tried to talk to him about it, I don't think he hears me. He gets mad at me instead of tries to understand why I feel the way I feel.
No comments:
Post a Comment