It's been a while..

It's been 5 months since I updated, and a lot has happened.  Baby J is currently occupying himself by jumping on the couch, and I'm going to let him because it looks like a blast and he's laughing his ass off.

DH applied out of state for a police officer job, but so did 1500 other people in that area. He scored #243 out of 1500 people, and they are only hiring about 100 people. Needless to say, he didn't get the job.

I got a huge raise and a promotion at work. A leadership position for a 3 dollar an hour raise! It hasn't gone into effect yet, but I can't wait to see how big of a difference it really makes in our lives.

DH is tired of his job and wants a change. We can afford for him to go back to school, but even with my raise I am not sure we could afford full time daycare, so he is pretty bummed. I think he feels bored and that our lives are boring, which they are for the most part. We wake up, go to work, take care of our kid and never do anything else.  I can see why he would feel this way. I want desperately to help him, I just don't know what I can do.

Baby J's babysitter is moving out of town, so we had to find a new sitter. We did find one who came from a friends recommendation and lives closer to us, also. We met her and I really liked her. He starts in a few weeks and I am kind of nervous. Jackson is weird about new people, so I wonder how it will go. Luckily he loves other kids and the other children she keeps are his age.

Weight loss? I did well for a month or so and then I got bronchitis and it all went to hell. I haven't found the right track. I keep failing myself. I feel like I am failing DH also. I know he will love me no matter what, but I also know what it's like to be desired, and this isn't it.

I crave a vacation to somewhere in the sun, but I am too embarrassed to wear a bathing suit and too insecure to be surrounded by a bunch of people who are comfortable in their skin. I know that sounds awful, but it's the truth.

Baby J is talking up a storm now, he babbles like a crazy person. He often sounds like he had a mild form of tourettes. I am so hopelessly in love with him, and he knows it, and runs me over. I'm not the disciplinarian like I thought I would be. As I mentioned above, he's jumping on the couch and I haven't mentioned for him to stop because he is having a blast. This will bite me in the ass very soon, I am sure of it.