Surprise party!

      One of my really good friends has lost about 80lbs in the last year and a half, citing me as one of his biggest inspirations. This has always made me feel awesome. But, being at his surprise party this past Saturday made me feel lost on my own goals.
      Celebrating his achievements was amazing. His closest friends and family all gathered together and said our congrats and Happy Birthdays to him. He looks amazing, feels amazing, and is so proud of himself. I couldn't help but MISS that feeling. No one said, "Wow you look awesome!" or "How much weight have you lost now?!" to me... for the first time in a really long time.
      As pictures started to surface of this party, I was so horrified. Holy shit. I feel embarassed and sad. Not to mention, behind my back I heard a few people say, "It's so nice to be able to hang out with her without her kid around", and things like that. No joke. It was nice for ME to be out and about without my son attached to my hip, but I guess it just hurt.
      I have also noticed that I'm not having as much sex as usual. If we do have sex, probably 80% of the time I am the one initiating it. I feel like I've severly disappointed my husband also. I know that he knows that having Baby J was both hard on me mentally and physicially, but I think now he sees that I've lost control of who I was becoming, and he LIKED that girl. Hell, I LIKED THAT GIRL.
      How do I get her back?