"Somebody has to clean this damn house"

      I don't know about you other bitches, but when I was pregnant, I was EXHAUSTED. I would cry because the laundry was so far behind and the house was dirty, but could never get the motivation to clean it all and KEEP it clean. It was awful. Everyone told me this was normal and things would get better once I had my son, but it hasn't. It just hasn't.

      I feel like there is so much to do and not enough time to do anything. Baby J takes up so much of my time when I am home, all I do is try to keep him happy and entertained, which isn't nearly as easy as it sounds. I can't ignore his cries, it drives me crazy. So I get up after a shitty night of on and off sleep, go to work from 8-5pm, pick up Baby J, get home around 6:15pm, feed/change/entertain him, then feed/change/entertain/bath him before he goes to sleep; which is usually around 9-9:30ish. By that time, I am so tired that I literally just lay down and ENJOY the quiet.

      The rest of my home is suffering. It's pretty bad. Today, my husband called me and told me that he called into work - which he never does, by the way - because "there are dishes everywhere, no clean bottles, no clean clothes, this place is a mess and SOMEBODY has to clean it."

      I was devestated. I feel like such an asshole. I feel like I should be such a better wife to him and he deserves better from me. He works hard and shouldn't have to come home to a dirty house like that. It's just SO HARD for me to keep things up now that I am working full time and Baby J is getting to that age that I can't just leave him somewhere and walk away for a while. He just cries and things only keep his attention for a few minutes. It's a constant job and I am feeling so ridiculously ovewhelmed.