Milestones.

        Last week, I saw Baby J take his very first step. This week, he is wobbling all over the place. Only a few feet before he falls, but it is amazing how fast he is learning and growing. I am in awe of him, truly. I saw him take his first few steps and I burst into happy tears and hugged him so tight.

        It's hard to believe in just a few days he will be a whole year old. My husband and I had decided together not to throw a birthday party for him, but he was pressured by his mother to have some sort of family get together for him. It's exactly what I didn't want to do. I would have loved to have a party, but with get togethers always comes drama with my MIL. I didn't want to remember Baby J's first birthday the same as I remember my pregnancy, my baby shower, his birth, his first Christmas... basically all of which are horrific memories for me partly because of some kind of drama with my MIL.

        After a few pretty nasty flare ups between the husband and I, we decided on a small famil dinner at a local resturant - inviting only immediate family on both sides. This still ends up being 15 or so people, but it's a lot better than the 40+ that was on a list for a party we previously planned before my axiety started to get the best of me.

        So tomorrow night is the night and I am really nervous. MIL is very jealous of Baby J's relationship with my parents, and I always hate getting both sides of our family together because of this reason. I just hope it's short, sweet and goes smoothly. I'm not bringing a cake or anything like that. I will have the resturant bring a small peice of dessert for Baby J only and we will sing and open presents as best as we can.

      On his actual birthday, it will be just the husband, Baby J and I enjoying a day on the beach with cupcakes and toys. I want it to be low key and stress free. No family, no friends, no money, no drama. I am really looking forward to that. Please pray that all goes well the next few days. I am pretty stressed as the days get closer together. I just want it all to go well so badly.